i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
