i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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