so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
