Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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