If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
