To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
