Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
