dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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