So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wish you could order shots online.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
