Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
