i think my mom watched the whole time
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize