You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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