Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
