he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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