i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
