i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
