I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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