what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
