found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
