Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
