Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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