I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize