He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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