I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
