We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize