The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We have so much sex to catch up on
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
