I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
love makes seman taste better
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
