All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
