Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize