dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you told grandpa to call you daddy
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
