We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We got so high we made milksteak
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
