it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize