I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
