If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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