i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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