so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
