That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
