He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
