More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just sucked dick on a ferry
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
