She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
