i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
