I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
