just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
