i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
