He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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