I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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