If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
