imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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