what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
