I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
