after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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