It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
