I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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