Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
