Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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