Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
