You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
