If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
