Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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