I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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