just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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