I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
